I’m back friends. Three months ago, almost to the day, I posted last. So much has transpired in the last three months. My precious neighbor girl and tea-sipping, porch-lounging-on-balmy-summer-eve buddy and I, have been lamenting recently that those late spring/early summer days post-COVID are past. We have both gotten so busy, and don’t see each other hardly some weeks–though we live a couple hundred yards apart. Much less do we have time to sip tea and chat as the sun fades.
However, life is good. Since it’s been 3 months, I am going to make this post primarily a life update.
Warning: This will probably be a long and potentially boring post because it is going to be kind of like an edited journal entry–me rambling about my life minus the stuff you shouldn’t know. 🙂
By now, if you’ve been following my blog, you probably now that I have a compulsion with beginning my posts with a description of my setting as I write. It’s just a thing with me–I think it’s because I’m all about the “ambiance” of an experience, and I enjoy it even more when I detail it in words to you.
Here goes. I am currently sitting in a little coffee shop tucked along the street in the “cute” part of a pretty boring local town. I love their lattes and the baristas are always the sweetest around. I come here a lot now that I work up in this neck of the woods. I am facing the street, fellow students and coffee-shop sitters litter the room, earbuds in. I have mine in too. I’m listening to some of my favorite piano music by Mark Dotterer. I began with my favorite song, “Longing for the Homeland.” It’s a tune that takes me back to subconscious childhood and gives me all the feels. I like listening to it and staring off into the distance and just “feeling.” I am living my best “basic white girl” life–sipping my small, extra hot, coconut latte, only one shot of syrup, with whipped cream.
What has happened since I last wrote?
I was studying for my NCLEX-PN boards back in June. I didn’t study very much and when July 17, 2020 dawned, I was freaked out that I would fail them and look very stupid indeed. I knew I’d have no excuse for failing them and that is what scared me. Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday of that week I made valiant, though distracted, attempts at studying and then gave up. I didn’t crack a book or open a browser the day before I took the test. I had arrived at a fairly fatalistic mentality about it by that point. After all, what was the worst that could happen? I’d fail and study and retake it in a couple months and move on.
I drove myself to a city about an hour away. I was in good spirits. My first stop was LabCorp to get a COVID antibody test. I was sure I had had it, and wanted proof so I could donate plasma for a little extra $$, you know? 😉 [Speaking of which, I only ever paid $10 for that lab draw, and I fully expected it would cost another $50 or more. I still haven’t gotten a bill, come to think of it. Oh well. Cool.] Considering the fact that I tested negative and couldn’t make those $$$, it’s probably good I haven’t.
That test took three shakes of a lamb’s tail, and I was done much sooner than expected. I was starving, so next I stopped at Panera and got some food. It was still too early to go in for my test. I drove to the PearsonVue testing center, parked in the shade, and reclined in my car. For about 2 hours I finished up the last of a delightful audiobook I was listening to at the time, When Crickets Cry by Charles Martin. At 1:15 pm, I brushed myself off and walked into that testing center, armed with only my ID and prayer. I was oddly very relaxed. My mentality at that point was, “It is what it is. I’m going to do my best, say a prayer, and not stress about it.”
I sat down at that computer, bowed my head for a quick prayer, as is my habit before every single exam I take. I put those bulky earphones on and clicked start. My heart rate and breathing were pretty much normal. I have taken exams that were much lower pressure than this one, and had to stop myself from hyperventilating by consciously controlling my breathing rate and exercising a little mental self-control and pep-talking. I really didn’t have to do any of that. I clicked through the questions taking my time, but not over thinking them, just kind of going with my gut feeling. As I approached the 60th question, my nerves did tighten a bit. Because of COVID, the minimum number of questions you can get is 60 and the max is 120. I was hoping that by 60 questions the computer would be confident enough in my knowledge to pass me at 60. I did question 60, and my screen blanked. I was thrilled! I was done! Even though there were tons of questions I didn’t know, and I got what felt like 40% SATA questions, I was again oddly peaceful.
When I got to my car, I did the PearsonVue registration trick. I won’t bother explaining it, but basically there is a good pop up and a bad pop up. If you get the good one, you most likely passed. I did it 15 minutes after my test and got the good one. I, of course, stopped for a celebratory Starbucks on the way home. I also ate ice cream and like 5 monster cookies (half of them baked, half unbaked) over the course of that evening. Don’t judge.
Fourty-eight hours later, after my Sunday nap, I paid $8 and got my unofficial results–I HAD PASSED!!! The next day my license was posted on the state board of nursing website. I was officially an LPN.
On August 6, I went into a local long-term care facility expecting to meet with the director of nursing to gather more information. I still wasn’t sure I wanted to work there. I had wanted to just work as a CNA for the practical experience of direct patient care, but without the responsibility of being the nurse. Unfortunately, they wouldn’t hire me in that way. I was told I could hire in as an LPN and pick up CNA shifts sometimes, but I’d have to hire as an LPN. I took the plunge! Turns out that appointment was actually a job interview. I left that afternoon–hired for my first job as a nurse!! I was thrilled and terrified. That was Thursday. I started the following Monday. It’s probably good I didn’t have much time to stress out.
I’ve been working as an LPN now at this facility for a month and a half. I worked pretty much my whole three week break between summer and fall semesters–getting in my three weeks of orientation before fall semester started August 31. I’ve worked 4 shifts on my own now. It is crazy to be the nurse. Who knew that scared little April would now be the nurse standing at the little cart in the hall–passing meds and being responsible for a hall of precious, elderly folks? I cannot express enough how incredible my weeks of orientation and my first four shifts by myself have gone!! Honestly, it is the grace of God that they all far exceeded my expectations and went so much better and were so much less stressful than I ever imagined. God is good. I have nothing more to say.
As I mentioned, this past summer has been very busy and full of changes. But it has been so RICH–in relationships, in wonderful experiences, in personal growth, in good (although sometimes stressful) changes, and in new things. I am so incredibly blessed, and in so many ways “living the dream.” And I don’t say that lightly.
June 15 marked the beginning of my RN year of nursing school. It’s hard to believe I’m in my second to last semester of nursing school. Everyone says nursing school flies, and they couldn’t be more right. It is so encouraging to look back at this time last year and see how much I’ve changed, grown, and learned. How one year can change a person!
Tomorrow marks the last day of week 3/16 of this semester. One more week and I’ll be 1/4 of the way through. Sometimes I just can’t keep up!
My two classes this semester are Mental Health Nursing and Complex Medical Surgical Nursing. It is lovely to have only two classes to focus on, although I think they are harder and I’m going to have to step up my studying game a bit. No more of this cramming several hours before the test bit, fly by the seat of my pants bit like I did this past summer.
I am particularly enjoying what we are learning in mental health right now about therapeutic communication and active listening techniques. I have been reading about it in my textbook and thinking about the use of these techniques in my personal relationships and picking out ones I use or should be using. [And ones other people should be using but aren’t. ;)] In fact, just tonight, I sat across from my brother at supper and consciously noted when I employed certain techniques. Truly fascinating. I think everyone, especially those interested in developing really good relationships, should read the chapter on therapeutic communication techniques. In any relationship, listening well, knowing how to ask specific questions, seek clarification, be nonjudgmental, express openness and attention with appropriate body language, encourage description of perceptions, encourage expression of how a situation made the person feel, and so much more would be helpful.
My mental health class has also been teaching me so much about empathy–feeling WITH others vs. sympathy–feeling sorry FOR others. The first focuses on understanding the feelings of the other person and expressing your understanding, the latter focuses on my feelings about you, which isn’t as therapeutic. Sympathy brings the focus back to me.
We did the most incredible empathy exercise in class. We sat in the theatre where we have class. The instructor gave each of us four sets of five slips of paper. Then she dimmed the lights, and put on some peaceful, soft background music. The vibe was perfect. First, we wrote down our five favorite foods, our five favorite people, our five favorite activities, and our five favorite places to go.
Then she displayed a story on the screen. It was written as if we were the main character in the story unfolding before us slide by slide. It felt very personal. In the story, we had cancer and our life was slipping away. As the story unfolded, we had to give up one or two of the things we had written down. The slide would read something like this, “You are getting weaker and weaker as the days go by. You see the exhaustion on the face of the loved ones caring for you. You wish they did not have to work so hard to care for you. *Crumple up one of the slips with one of your favorite people. Think about how much you love this person and say goodbye.”
We kept slowly giving up one thing after another, until we were on our deathbed and had only the person we loved the most left. Then we had to crumple up that last slip and say goodbye. I’m telling you! It sounds silly maybe, but I got tears in my eyes numerous times. I wasn’t the only one. It just made me stop and think about the things I hold precious and how sad I would be to lose them. It made me grateful for what I have, and for the people I have to love and who love me.
Life is so short. There’s so much pain and suffering in the world. So many people crying inside and you wouldn’t know it. Treasure your mom. Give her a kiss next time you see her. Stay a few minutes longer at the supper table and ask your sibling how they’re really doing and specific questions about their job. Ask your classmate how their weekend was instead of sitting on your phone during break. Pay for the person behind you in the drive thru. Complement a stranger. Genuinely tell a friend why you like them.
Peace,
A. Friesen, LPN (been waiting to use those letters 😉)
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